The Food Vortex

Ahh, a fine Monday morning to chase down a great weekend.

I had a pretty great weekend full of quality time with good friends, some nice quiet time for myself, time to sleep when I was tired, etc. Let me tell you about the high point, though...

Yesterday, we did a pretty hilly 12-mile run in some pretty stout humidity. Fortunately the sun was hidden behind the clouds and we were all in good company.

I noticed around mile 10 that I was starting to get pretty hungry. Those of you who know me know that I tend to eat a lot, and that I also LOVE food. I make the distinction between those two because they're NOT synonymous and don't always go hand-in-hand. I've got a pretty good metabolism and burn a lot of calories in my day to day activities, not to mention all the running I do on top of that.

Every once in a while, however, The Good Lord smiles on me, and somewhere in my stomach, a gateway opens to a parallel universe I like to call "The Food Vortex." In the presence of The Food Vortex, I can eat all the food I can get my hands on and never seem to get full.

Some of the guys decided to go to the Noshville Deli after our run yesterday. As much as I like hanging with the guys after these runs, I wasn't stoked about having to drive 20 minutes, then have to wait longer for my food to come out. I mean, what if the gateway to the food vortex closed?!? Plus, I was craving Burger King something FIERCE!

Fortunately, the guys got to Noshville well before I did only to find the line too long and I talked my buddy Hunter into meeting me at Burger King. Victory!

When we got there, I asked the cashier if they still had "that big breakfast sandwich," and she eventually found it...apparently not a popular item (I ordered it once before and couldn't finish it). I ordered that in the large combo meal and could barely stand still as anticipation mounted. I winced as she spilled a few of the hash browns and had to throw them out. I think she noticed, and seeing as they were done serving breakfast, she gave me a small box of french toast sticks as well. I had to choke back tears of joy.

About 15-20 minutes later, I'd finished the sandwich, the king-sized hash browns and also the french toast sticks. I did my normal post-meal sigh of satisfaction, but spliced in with the peaceful exhalation was yet another cry of hunger from the insatiable food vortex. I looked at my empty tray, then at Hunter, then at the (now lunch) menu, then back at Hunter who gave me the "Why Not?!?" look.

I returned to the counter to order a Whopper Jr. and some french fries from another cashier. My original cashier returned to the counter a moment later, saw me standing there, and asked me if I needed something. I thanked her and explained that I'd simply placed another order for more food. She gave me a brief glance of incredulity, then turned, chuckled and went about her business.

Finally the vortex echoed my sigh of satisfaction. I can think of few things that please me more than being able to enjoy that much food in one sitting. According to the BK website, my total calorie intake for that meal came out to about 2110 calories - breakfast accounted for about 1400 of that.

Like I said, I do normally eat a lot, but that's a pretty good amount of food even for me. Anyway, I guess its back to the normal eating habits, until the next time the food vortex graces me with its presence or lack thereof.

Simply beautiful, Simply beautiful.