A Snow Day in Nashville

Well kids, it's snowing in Nashville, or it has been for the last couple of hours. I'd say I had about an inch or two on my car when I walked outside.

Where I grew up in PA, we call this a "Tease." Teachers and students alike would sit in class and stare out the window knowing that this smattering was no justification for us to be at home, but we couldn't shake the thought, so the day was a wash anyway. We knew it was better to stay in school than to waste a snow day that we'd have to make up in June, but it wasn't much consolation at the time. We were all bitter.

Here in Nashville, this is somewhere between a "Blizzard" and "Armageddon." No joke. Let's just say that the weatherperson on the evening news lets it slip that there's a "30% chance of snow tomorrow." This is what happens:

• Schools: county after county starts phoning in to cancel school for the next day.
• There are bottlenecks at every grocery store and gas station full of all the people planning for aftermath to the tune of nuclear fallout. They are all buying bread and milk and gasoline.
• Even the most level-headed of people break out their "the end is nigh" sandwich signs.
• Driving: well, I'll get to that...

You non-Nashvillians probably think I jest. (Ok, the sandwich signs may be slightly hyperbolic.) I didn't believe it myself until I saw it with my own eyes.

Snow days (usually six inches or more) in PA were delightful. We'd all rush over to the biggest hill within range and start building sled/snowboard ramps. Moms and dads generally went to work knowing the kids would be too busy out in the snow to get into any trouble at home. When we were old enough to drive, we went straight to the high school parking lot to see who could turn the most do-nuts in their car...at least until the police showed and told us to beat it. Those of us who had 4x4's, put them to the test seeking out the biggest snowbanks to drive through. We'd cut through corn fields, pretending that we could have sworn this was where the road was. Gosh I miss that.

Nashville driving is a bit of a nightmare when snow's NOT in the picture. Snow makes it crazy.

My first snow here in Nashville, I went to visit my sister Friday night to do laundry. She lived atop a hill off of OHB in Nashville. I awoke Saturday morning to about four inches of snow. Not thinking much of it, I borrowed my sister's Corolla to swing past the grocery store for something arbitrary. OHB is a rather hilly five-lane road in south Nashville and once I had a visual of it, I couldn't believe my eyes:

As if there were no lines on the road at all, there were cars, trucks, etc. pointed in EVERY direction on both sides of the road. Wheels were spinning madly, and cars were sliding uncontrollably. I stared in awe. I'd seen more order in the bumper cars at Hersheypark. Recalling my mission to mind, I proceeded to chart a course through the wreckage in the little Corolla...slowly weaving my way through the chaos. It was laughable at first, but soon rather became a nuisance.

Driving in the snow in a rear-wheel-driven vehicle is the most difficult snow-driving there is. Front-wheel-drive is far more conducive...that's what my sister's Corolla was. If you are driving a 4x4, you have NO excuse. Period.

Refuting Nashville snow-driving logic:

• You CANNOT drive the same speed in the snow as you would on dry roads and expect to be able to control your car. You should be at half-speed or less.
  
• Once your tires begin spinning, giving the vehicle more throttle will NEVER make your wheels grip.

Seriously, just drive slowly. Once your wheels lose grip, take your foot off the throttle and try again even more slowly. I repeat: DRIVE SLOWLY!

In about an hour, I'm going to meet Hugh "Sunday Bloody" Mundy at Percy Warner for a snowy trail run. A fellow PA boy, I don't worry about either of our driving capacities in getting there. I am a bit worried about what kind of traffic resistance we'll meet on the way. I'm even more worried about having to abandon my journey to help somebody out of a ditch.

All kidding aside, Nashvillians...don't drive in this stuff unless you must, and be careful out there!

"Eff-SD" (no, not South Dakota)

Seasonal Depression:
I'd say that I suffer from mild seasonal depression during the months of January, February, and sometimes even a little bit into March. It seems as if life has left the area with the fallen leaves, it's cold, and it NEVER actually snows in this blasted city. It certainly doesn't stop schools from having snow days though. I could go throw a handful of powdered sugar at the local TV-News station and immediately schools would close, interstates would jam up with accidents, and people would run to the store for bread and milk. I'm not joking.

I went to visit my mom's brother (Uncle Ed) and his family near Boulder, CO last year at this time. I left my snowboard out there as collateral so that I'll actually pull the trigger and move out there myself. After returning to Nashville, I realized that I probably wouldn't miss it that much. I've used it one time here in the last 10 years.

Southern Snowboard Silliness
Some college friends and I went to Winterplace in West Virginia on MLK day weekend during our sophomore year to go skiing/snowboarding. Being with friends was a blast, but the "snow" experience was laughable. As it was MLK day weekend, every yahoo with a pair of a sticks within in a 300 mile radius was there. The slope was so short and the lift lines were so long, I literally could have walked to the top before the lift would have gotten me there. So ended my attempts at "southern snowboarding."

Umm...
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, seasonal depression. After Christmas is over, all the things that make winter worth it's while are absent. There's basically a 2-2.5 month lull till Spring swoops in gently to rescue us from the drear of winter. She does it so subtly that it's like she's trying to make us forget about Winter without insulting Winter himself. Very kind of her. Besides, without Winter, the world doesn't work right, and Spring doesn't feel anywhere near as good when she arrives.

Man, am I ever on the slippery slope of digression this morning...

The Point
In the past, during these first few months of the year, I feel like myself and all the people with whom I'm connected just seem to mope around. It's this constant, "What do you wanna do?" - "I dunno what do you wanna do?" thing. And when that magical first day of Spring rolls around, we are all of a sudden able to make decisions again.

Most of you know my buddy, Andy. He, a fellow sufferer of seasonal depression (SD...tired of typing that), and I spoke at length about SD during one of our Tuesday night brain-puke sessions. I decided that it'd be best to create a social calendar for myself and others to keep people moving and integrated within their society of friends during this volatile time. It seems to be the best medicine.

I started the year out strong, but don't remember making any more conscious effort to adhere to my master "Eff-SD" plan. I jokingly told a few people about my cure, but never really pushed it on anybody. Oddly enough, this year I've managed to book up almost every waking minute of my life between work and social events, and it seems as though I'm not the only one. I think all of my friends are just as busy, and you know what? I think my master plan is working. Although I can't really take any credit for people voluntarily filling up their schedules during these months, it seems they're all generally happier than those who haven't. To attribute to one of my recurring themes...just goes to show you how important it is to have your friends around. Example 1, Example 2

Anyway - "Second Star on the Right & Straight on till Morning!"