Friday, March 27, 2009

oh c'mon - I've got time...(Morning Math)

The title of this blog is a derivative of a quote from one of the most prolific philosophers of our time - Bob Parr (aka Mr. Incredible...shhhh...don't tell anybody).

I just finished my normal breakfast of Kroger brand Raisin Bran cereal and soy milk (my stomach doesn't seem too keen on dairy products right now). I spent this typical breakfast catching up on my good friend Annie Parsons' blog, which is always a pleasure. Two things that always happen when I indulge "said" blog are: 1. I feel guilty about being so remiss in my new blogging endeavor/commitment. 2. I get the urge to throw caution to the wind and log another entry no matter how late it makes me for whatever I'm to do next. This is a nice segue into this morning's pontification...

"Morning Math"

My dad is particularly bad about estimating how long something will take, or how long it'll be till he's home and dinner can start. Apparently genetics thought this was a good legacy to carry on and tried to pass it on to me...right now, genetics is winning.

"Morning Math" occurs during the time when your alarm clock first wakes you up to the time when you arrive at your first morning destination.

This term is a cousin of the term "Texas Math," which I learned from a road rep at a sales conference a few years back. Nobody in the room had a calculator, so he just quickly added up the numbers in his head and blurted out a number. Impressed, we all just stared at him in awe of his genius to which he responded, "It's just Texas Math," with the verbal swagger only a Texan can muster. Ten minutes and two subjects later, one of the other road reps who had taken the time to add the numbers on his phone pointed out that the Texas Math was rather "not even close." It was kind of a "you had to be there" moment, but the tension was amazing. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...except maybe a Texan whose home state has been insulted. Another topic for another time...I digress...

Anyway, Morning Math - It's "Morning Math" that causes me to push that snooze button for a whole hour because it makes perfect logical sense that, in less than 15 minutes, I can do my whole morning regiment (hygiene, breakfast, reading Annie's blog, etc.) AND get to the other side of town during the morning rush hour.

Ironically, it's during this time of day that I also become oh-so-inspired. "Not only do I have the time for the routine, I've also got time to talk to my neighbor, BLOG, continue the search for the end of the Internet, watch the news, knock out a chapter of the book I'm reading, sit on the couch and ponder the area rug..." You get the point.

It's doesn't matter at all how early I get up. Somehow, I will still be 15 minutes late. Alas...any suggestions???

I do love the mornings though. I know I'll spend the rest of the day running around like a chicken with no head...why not just take a few extra minutes and enjoy the quiet peace of the morning? After all, what's the fun in being self-employed if you don't enjoy a somewhat loose schedule now and then?

I think I need a secretary...


  1. Ooooh. And wasn't my blog an "upper" this morning? :) Sigh. I swear that I will resume some sort of wit and positivity soon. :)

    I miss you Graham! How have I not seen you in a long time??

  2. but-you forgot to take time to sit and watch your new washing machine cycle!

    i have done in-depth research on "stoner time" and have come to the conclusion that it is, in fact an inherited trait that is incomprehensible to non-stoners. naturalized stoners (through marriage, adoption, etc.) learn to tolerate, to some degree, this often vexing behavior. at this point in my research, i have found no cure.

    the "stoner time" watch has a face with numbers but no hands.

    my research continues...